


Reaching Out Past the Stars

by moonlights0nata



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: It's set during S4 I'm sneaking in events between what happened in the season, M/M, VLD Season 4, this is my 'i need keith to know he's loved' fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-10 18:42:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13507536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlights0nata/pseuds/moonlights0nata
Summary: And he remembered Keith the day he left, how he'd seemed glad the Black Lion had answered Shiro again. Remembered again how he'd seemed sad, for a moment, as the door closed behind him. Of course it was a sad moment, the fact he was leaving, but it had been Keith's choice to leave, hadn't it? He was the one pushing them away, all the time--Pushing them away. Not feeling he was meant to be the leader. “I'm not Shiro.” Leaving by choice but still looking like it wasn't quite what he'd wanted. “You know we are always here for you if you need it, Keith.”Did Keith know? Did he really?Did he feel he belonged with the team?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this right after I watched season 4 and it stayed on standby until a few days ago. This first chapter is the longest as a sort of...introduction? But the following chapter might be shorter. I am very slow writing but I hope to be able to finish this fic before season 5 !!

Lance hated to see him leave.

He hated watching Keith's back most of all, as he walked away after the tearful goodbye.

He should have said something, oppose to the idea of him leaving. He felt he— all of them—should have put some resistance to it.

But this had been Keith's choice, and for all Lance knew him, he wasn't going to change his mind. They had to respect his decision.

But Lance was—disappointed? He couldn't quite pin point what he felt. He had been warming up to the concept of Keith as team leader, he'd come to terms with it, he'd respected the Black Lion's choice. He'd decided to support Keith through this.

When he looked back on their relationship, they had come a long way. Now Lance could admit it; they made a great team out there, fighting back to back. It was a nice feeling, to feel Keith had his back and he had his. That their banter was a little more playful, less meant to hurt. He'd enjoyed their short time as leader and right hand man.

Just as the rest of the team, he had been mad at Keith, for so easily dismissing the shows they put up to gather people to the coalition. He understood that the Blade's training was important too, but so was the coalition.

But Lance also knew, a flashy show was not Keith's style. He was a man of action, of pursuit, and when he started to leave more and more with the Blade of Marmora, Lance knew their paths were diverging. That in the end, he'd made a choice.

Then, why, Lance wonders, did Keith, for a split moment, look so sad to leave. Resigned, almost. At the time he hadn't thought much of it but without Keith in the castle, Lance couldn't help but think even more of him.

He's supposed to be playing a game and focus on that but his mind drifts. And he looked back on some things.

Keith could be bad with words, sometimes. It's something Lance had poked fun at him a few times, but Lance was perceptive and observant and he watched Keith's expressions very closely. He said so much with his face, and his gestures, that when Lance had been so caught up on their rivalry he'd barely noticed them.

Keith was not flashy in his gestures like Lance was but once you started looking at him, you didn't want to look away.

And Lance couldn't; not from the way his shoulders hunched, the sad crease of his brows, his lack of confidence when it came to leading. It had baffled Lance because Keith had always looked so certain out there. He had a confidence in his battle skills Lance _envied,_ because Keith was good and he knew it.

So it confused him and upset him to see Keith feel so out of place. He was not Shiro, that's for sure, but if the Black Lion, and Shiro, had chosen him, it had to be for a good reason.

Lance couldn't help but remember, not too long ago, Shiro now back with them, how Keith would insist to Shiro about trying and pilot Black again. Lance had overheard that conversation once and had scuttled away before they thought he was spying on them, but the way Keith was convinced Shiro needed to be their leader left an odd taste in Lance's mouth.

Shiro was a born leader. They all felt confident when he was giving orders, trusting his choices whole-heartedly. Even when Keith was supposed to be the leader Shiro still acted like one. And when Keith started going off on missions of his own, Lance felt he'd lost a little of what they'd been gaining all that time Keith had been piloting Black and leading the team. Keith just kept pulling away from them and Lance hated it. He wanted to pull him back in but he just kept slipping from his grasp.

And he remembered Keith the day he left, how he'd seemed glad the Black Lion had answered Shiro again. Remembered again how he'd seemed sad, for a moment, as the door closed behind him. Of course it was a sad moment, the fact he was leaving, but it had been Keith's choice to leave, hadn't it? He was the one pushing them away, all the time--

_Pushing them away. Not feeling he was meant to be the leader. “I'm not Shiro.” Leaving by choice but still looking like it wasn't quite what he'd wanted. “You know we are always here for you if you need it, Keith.”_

Did Keith know? Did he really?

_Did he feel he belonged with the team?_

His character died on screen and Lance groaned, dropping the controller on his lap and glaring down at it.

Dammit.

“Stupid game.” _Stupid Keith._

* * *

 

“So, hey...” Lance began, his back to Coran as he helped him clean up around the castle. He was still wary of going in the Pods to clean them up after the whole haunted castle incident so he was just taking care of dusting the floor.

“You are usually at, y'know, at the main control room and stuff. Has like...” This question was going to be ridiculous. “Has the Blade called or anything lately?”

“Hmm, no ! If they had I would have called you all over immediately.” Coran replied, fixing his moustache in the reflection of a pod. Lance couldn't see it but a knowing look passed Coran's face. “Are you wondering about Keith?”

Lance spluttered, having been obviously caught and he shrugged his shoulders. “ _No_ —I mean—Kinda--Argh, it's just!” Lance turned around, arms spread out. “He just up and left and, yeah okay, I respect his decision like Shiro said and all but it just--” He huffed, leaning his cheek against the broom he'd been using. “I dunno. Feels wrong somehow. He left and hasn't even called ! How are we supposed to know he's okay and still kicking and hasn't got sucked into space? 'Cause we both know that's happened often and now he doesn't have Red to swoop in and rescue his ass.”

That made him recall, one time, during a mission, Keith had effectively gotten spit violently out of an enemy ship, with Black far away, and while Lance had been piloting Red he felt the Lion's distress through their Link. Before he knew it, he was veering in a different direction. Only when he saw Keith evading off asteroids without his Lion did he realize what was going on.

That memory was still a fond one, in a way. He remembered pulling Keith into the Lion and while he scolded and half joked to Keith about how often this happened to him, it almost felt like Red was in on it too and Keith knew it.

“Yeah well—YOU almost got sucked into space too!” Had been Keith's attempt at a counter. “Remember when I _saved_ you?”

“ _Hey_ , that was only one time and only because the castle was haunted and I thought Coran was stuck in the airlock !” Lance huffed. “Meanwhile you had a killer robot at your tail.” A pause, then he snorted and nudged Keith a little. “Well, I do owe you that one. Would have been a goner without ya there.” He peered back at Keith and they exchanged a momentarily fond look, which took them both by surprise.

“Yeah, no kidding.” Keith had rested his hand in the back of his seat and smiled a little. “...Thanks for the save back there, Lance.” After a moment of hesitation he reached out and rested a hand on the Red Lion's console too. “And thanks, Red.”

Lance smirked. “Isn't it 'good kitty', Keith?” The comment got him a nudge and a huffy Keith.

“ _Shut up Lance._ ” Even as he said it, his eyes seemed to be smiling.

“Well, our communication line with the Blade of Marmora is meant to be only for important situations.” Coran talking snapped Lance of his thoughts and he sighed, expecting that reply. It was true that they only kept in contact when it was strictly necessary. Coran watched him for a moment, before he too sighed and smiled a little.

“But calling once in a while to check up on a friend, I think even Kolivan would understand.” At that Lance involuntarily perked up. “You have your communication device, yes? Let me see it.”

Lance rummaged his pocket, pulling the device out—which was like a more advanced cellphone, really—and handed it to Coran. The Altean muttered to himself as he fiddled with it, before handing it back to Lance, looking pleased.

“There ! Now you can communicate with the Blade directly from your device. I think it'll come in handier than calling from the control room.”

“Alright ! Thanks Coran.” Lance grinned, tapping into the device and looking at the contact, finger hovering over it with hesitation. The older man shifted to his side, nudging him a little.

“Go on! I too am curious to know how Keith is doing.” Lance nodded and pressed the contact. As soon as he did, he began to feel nervous.

What was he going to say exactly? Specially if Keith didn't pick up and someone else from the Blade took the call. Or Kolivan. What was he going to ask exactly? _'So hey how's your summer camp at the Blade of Marmora going Keith, we are doing just peachy here.'_ or something like that?

He wasn't entirely ready when the call went through and, much to be expected, Kolivan picked up, his stoic expression for once looking a little confused.

“Paladin. Coran. What is the matter?”

“Oh, hey Kolivan!” Lance greeted cheerfully, concealing his nerves. “Y'know just—calling. Is—Is Keith around? There's something I gotta ask him.”

“Is it urgent?”

“Well, not exactly--”Lance rubbed the back of his neck, trying to come up with something. “Just wanted to, uh, check up on him?”

Kolivan's expression didn't falter. “We established that this communication line only for discussing important matters regarding our plans.” He diverted his attention to Coran. “You, especially, know this.”

Coran looked a bit nervous himself but his voice was steady. “Yes, I'm aware. But I didn't see anything wrong in calling to check up on a fellow teammate--”

“There is no point to this call then.” Kolivan cut him off. “Keith is currently away on a mission. I will let him know you called but he won't be reaching you through this channel. Don't use it again for needless matters.”

Before either Lance or Coran could protest the call abruptly ended. They both stared at the blank screen in a bit of shock. Lance groaned, throwing his head back.

“Well, that was a bust.”

Coran sighed, shaking his head. “I'm sorry. I thought maybe Kolivan would be more understanding. But we will have to contact the Blade at some point to discuss our plans so it's not like we won't be hearing from Keith again.”

“Yeah...” Lance looked at his device, disappointed, before pocketing it. “You're right.”

* * *

 

To Lance's surprise, he heard from Keith much sooner than he thought. Later that night, while he was applying his face mask, he practically jumped when his device began to ring. He scrambled to get it, wiping the cream from his hands in his robe before tapping the accept call button. He didn't even realize it was from an unknown contact until he'd already picked it up and thought that maybe he shouldn't be taking calls from anyone, specially out in space.

But Keith's face appeared on the screen and for a moment, both boys stared at each other with wide, startled eyes.

“Uh...I guess, this is not a good time?” Keith began, after another beat of silence, looking like he wanted to stifle a grin. “You only got half a mask on.”

Lance huffed. “Yeah, you did call kind of in the middle of applying it.” He squinted, trying to see behind Keith. “Is uh....you are not calling from the Marmora base are you? Kolivan is gonna be pissed off if you are, he said--” And here he made a bad impression of the older Galra, face stoic. “ 'Don't call us for pointless matters blah blah blah Keith isn't calling you back ever' Or something like that.”

At that Keith smiled. “Don't worry, I'm not using the main room. I'm using my own device. When I got back from my mission he let me know you and Coran had called.” He arched an eyebrow at Lance. “You DO know it isn't meant to be used for anything other than planning our strategy, right?”

Lance rolled his eyes. “I got that much from Kolivan. But it's not like I had any other way to call you !” He threw his arms in the air. “You just went off and didn't call us either so what was I supposed to do?”

Keith looked off to the side, a little guilty. “Sorry. It's—I've been busy.” He scratched the back of his ear, looking back at Lance with questioning eyes. “Why did you call anyways? Is...Is something going on?”

Lance looked away, lips pursed. “Can't I just call to check up on my friend?”

There's no immediate reply so Lance looked back at the screen, wondering why it was so silent. Keith startled as their eyes met and Lance arched an eyebrow at him “Keith?” The former paladin huffed out what seemed to be a laugh, a hand unconsciously rising to fiddle with the strand of hair that always fell on his face.

“Sorry, It's--” _'Did you think we wouldn't worry? Did you think I wouldn't care, did you not want to talk to me?'_ Questions intruded Lance's mind and he bit his tongue as to not interrupt Keith. Not now. “I wasn't expecting it. But it's just like you to do this, I guess.”

“Huh?”

Keith's had a small smile, but it was almost fond, almost wistful. “Checking on others. You have that habit of sticking your nose in people's business.”

Lance clicked his tongue and frowned, crossing his arms and pretending to be offended. “Well I'm SO sorry I care whether you are doing fine or your ass ended up floating in space again !”

“Are you _always_ going to bring that up?” Keith dragged a hand across his face, remembrance in his expression. “And I'm doing just fine.” He paused for a moment, looking down to the side. “We' are working on tracking that new quintessence, as you know, so I'm busy.”

“Right...” Lance pushed himself against the wall next to his bed, knees drawn to his chest as he held the phone above them. “You said that mission could take a while.”

“Yeah.” There's an uncomfortable pause, both reminiscing before Keith spoke up. “So, uh, how...are _you_ doing?”

Lance snorted at Keith's uncertain tone. He shrugged, grinning. “I'm good. Y'know, the usual. Charming the ladies, being generally a pretty cool dude.” He winked and Keith rolled his eyes. Seeing it, for small as a gesture it was, made Lance realize he'd missed this. Talking to Keith,seeing his reactions. “But it's boring without you here. I can't go bother you.” It was as good as an admission as he'd give right now.

“You miss me that much already?” He wasn't expecting Keith to get smug and he could see him propping up his chin on his palm, grinning. Lance ignored how his cheeks got a little pink and he scrunched up his nose at Keith.

“I'm reconsidering it.” Keith chuckled at that and it made Lance think more. Back to when everything started, when all they did is bicker. If Keith had gone away back then, he thought, this wouldn't be possible. Talking like this, getting a laugh out of Keith. It's everything they've been through that let them have this moment. That Lance could admit to himself he did miss Keith.

“Then, do you miss _me_?” He turned the question on him, sounding more serious than he intended but turning it playful by wriggling his eyebrows and pushing his hair back. “Wait, hold on, I know. Of course you do--”

“...Yeah.” The response came slow, but without missing a beat, and Lance blinked, eyes widening at Keith, who shrugged but didn't look away, expression sincere. “I kinda do.” He smirked. “I don't got anyone bothering me like you do here.”

“Oh.” Lance's voice lowered and his face heated up. He rubbed the back of his head and laughed a little too loudly. “W-Well duh! I mean, who wouldn't miss hanging out with a guy like me? Haha--” His laughter trails off and they are left in silence again. _Awkward._

“So, uh, does the Blade of Marmora do anything in their free time?” Lance finally asked. “Wait, do you _have_ free time?”

Keith hummed. “Sort of. There's not much to do. We talk through strategies and our plans for the next mission. I use the training room sometimes too.”

Lance snickered. “Of course you would. Can't believe you are cheating on the training bot with the Marmora training room!” He gasped, throwing his head back. “The shame! The audacity! You'll break its heart!” Keith was going to hurt himself with how much he was rolling his eyes at Lance but there was an amused grin in his face.

“Tell it I'm sorry I had to go.”

“No 'wait for me, babe, I'll be back'?” Lance joked but then something hit him, almost like a slap. Was...Was Keith coming back? When he was done with that mission, will he come back to Voltron? The thoughtful face Keith made, looking uncomfortable, made him wonder. Keith didn't reply, looking away from Lance. It was clear they were both thinking the same thing.

“...Y—Y'know.” Lance spoke up, fiddling with the device in his hand and shuffling his feet, looking down at the mattress. “Everyone misses you here. When I called earlier Coran was with me and he wanted to check up on you too. A-And Hunk was really disappointed the other day when you weren't there to try his new recipe! And Shiro—well he's good at hiding it but he misses ya too.” He bit the inside of his cheek.

“I guess what I'm trying to say is...you can come back. Anytime.” He looked back up and was met with surprise in Keith's eyes. “You are still our teammate—you're still a part of Voltron.” Did Keith know? Did he understand? “Nothing's going to change that.”

Those are the kind of words Lance would've wanted to hear. When he was feeling inadequate to be on the team, when Blue put her barrier between them, when Shiro came back and he'd end up being the leftover Paladin, because shouldn't the natural thing be for Keith to get back with Red?

But things hadn't flowed that way.

And Lance wondered how Keith felt about them. He wanted to reach out, understand him, solve the puzzle that he was. He wanted Keith to understand he belonged.

Keith stared at him, something indescribable in his eyes, before sighing, smiling lopsidedly, something warm and uncertain about it.“...Thanks Lance. Really.”

He grinned. “Hey, it's like Shiro said. We are here for you man.” He stuck out his tongue. “Who knows, maybe I'll be swooping in with Red to save you sooner than you think.”

“You _wish_.” The amused glint was back in Keith's eyes. “Try not to get in too much trouble, I won't be there to help you all the time.”

“Hey! I don't need your help, _thanks_ \--”

They kept going back and forth like this for a while, and Lance felt like there was a small weight being lifted off his chest. Being able to talk with Keith like this, even if he was god knows how far away,was relieving, familiar, their silly bickering a constant he hadn't expected to miss as much as he did.

“Shouldn't you finish applying that face mask?” Keith pointed out. “You still only got half on.”

“Shoot, you're right.” Lance patted the half without any on as he stood to get his creams. “I completely forgot. I was gonna do that and sleep when you called. What time IS it anyway?” There was little point in asking, given that the way time felt here on space was so different than on earth.

“ _Late._ ” Keith sighed. “You should probably sleep.”

“You should too!” He argued, as he applied the other half of his mask,turning his head slightly to the device. “Don't go staying up in the training room all night. Bad habit buddy.”

Keith didn't reply but he heard him shift as he finished with the mask, wiping his hands and putting everything away. When he picked up the device again he noticed the light seemed dimer on Keith's side.

“...So, hey.” Lance mumbled. “I know you're busy but can...can I call you sometime?” He asked quickly, words a little jumbled together. “Just, you know! You don't gotta pick up. But, uh--” He rubbed the back of his head, shuffling from one feet to the other. He played his nerves off with a grin. “If you are bored and miss the sound of my voice--” ' _I missed hearing your voice'._ “We can just talk for a while.”

Keith paused and hummed, looking thoughtful. “I...I can't promise I'll always pick up. I rarely stay on the base for too long before Kolivan sends me somewhere. But...” He fiddled with a lock of hair again. “I don't mind you calling.”

“Great!” Lance's grin widened. “Next time I'll have the latest castle gossip ready for ya man.”

“Can't wait.” Keith snorted. “Go to sleep, Lance, I bet Allura will complain if you are late for the morning briefing.”

“Ughh, fine.” Lance groaned. He didn't want to end the call, but the small promise that there could be another time hung in the air. _Next time, next time._ “G'night Keith. You better sleep too.”

“I got it, I got it.” Keith lazily waved a hand at him. “Night, Lance.”

He caught Keith's half smile just before he hung up. Lance made quick work of turning off the lights and laying down, something content in his chest. He didn't even realize he was smiling as he drifted off to sleep.

 


	2. Chapter 2

It'd been his decision, to leave.

Keith told himself this was the right thing to do. Shiro was the rightful leader of the team, he could lead everyone the way Keith couldn't.

It was okay, this was okay.

The time he'd spent as a part of Voltron was time he cherished, the moments, the fights, the laughter he shared with the team are some of the most vibrant memories in his life. That feeling like he belonged somewhere, even when they were all drifting through space, never staying in one place too long. That feeling of companionship, friendship, _family_. It was warm and bright and too good to be true.

Holding on too tight to it would only leave his hands bruised when it was yanked away from his grasp. So before that could happen, he let go first.

“ _The Blade of Marmora can go on without you.”_ Allura had said. _“Voltron cannot. We cannot.”_

But that wasn't true anymore. They had Shiro back now. Everyone had a role to play.

So he left.

Because even if with the Blade he was just one more, it was fine. It was familiar ground.

In Earth, he'd never really belonged anywhere.

In Space, that stayed the same.

* * *

 

Kolivan approaching him after a mission wasn't odd, but what he said took Keith by surprise.

“Your teammate Lance called.”

Keith's eyes widened. “What...What did he say?”

“He wanted to speak to you. I told him if it the matter was unrelated to our mission he should not use our main line of communication, and that you would contact him later. Use your own device, if you do.”

Keith nodded wordlessly as Kolivan walked away and Keith did the same, towards his quarter. He hadn't expected Lance to try and contact him. But somehow, it was just like him to do so.

He debated not calling. Leave things as they were. Putting distance between himself and the team was fine, _this was fine,_ it'd been his choice. Yet part of him longed to hear Lance's voice again. He wanted to know why he'd tried to reach him.

Before he could hesitate, he called back.

* * *

 

Later, Lance's words rung in his ears. _“You can come back. Anytime.” “You are still our teammate—you're still a part of Voltron. Nothing's going to change that.”_ Something in his chest ached.

When he thanked Lance, a part of him remained uncertain, despite the warmth he'd felt.

But he couldn't be too careless, longing for that feeling again, letting himself fall back into it. It was dangerous. _It was vulnerable._

And yet he hadn't been able to lie when he said he missed Lance. He did, he'd missed his voice and his mannerisms and his exaggerated cockiness. He'd missed their playful bickering, missed his small sincere moments.

A part of him didn't want Lance to call again.

A part of him longed for it.

* * *

 

Their conversations weren't very often, and were most often initiated by Lance.

They didn't talk about much, and it almost felt like they were back at the castle, hanging out, Lance talking his ear off about one or another thing.

“So, y'know the pool? I'm still trying to figure out how it works.” Lance mentioned once, pouting. “It remains a mystery.”

“You didn't try turning off the gravity again, did you?” Keith questioned, a little amused as he recalled the time they'd tried to figure it out together. One free time they'd had, both standing below the glistening pool and staring up at it trying to understand _how_ they were supposed to use it.

“ _Dude, I got it.” Lance had said, eyes shining with a plan. “We'll turn the gravity off !”_

_Keith had blinked at him. “I mean...it could work but...how would we get out afterwards?”_

“ _We just turn the gravity back on?”_

“ _And fall flat on our faces? Like last time?”_

_Lance had spluttered, holding up a finger in defiance. “N—No, we'll land gracefully on our feet this time!”_

_Keith'd sighed. “I don't think this is a good idea L—Lance?” Lance was already in front of a panel by the door, tapping on it. “What are you—” Suddenly he couldn't feel the ground beneath his feet and as he looked down he saw he was hovering above it. Almost at the same time, he felt water rain heavily down on him, soaking him completely and the floor bellow._

_Pushing back his wet bangs he snapped his head up. “Lance!”_

“ _...Woops.” Lance, equally drenched and hovering by the door, rubbed the back of his head and grinned sheepishly. “I, uh, didn't expect the water would fall? Sorry.”_

_Keith groaned. “At least now we know turning the gravity off does this.” He gestured vaguely at the water now below them, but still out of reach. “Now turn it back on.”_

“ _Aw come on! Floating in zero-g is fun.” Lance put his arms behind his head, laying down in mid air with an easy going smile. “We can't enjoy the pool but we can enjoy this.”_

“ _I don't...really see the point in just hanging around in mid air while we are drenched.” Keith made an attempt at moving through the air, kicking his legs or waving his arms resulting in nothing despite the struggle. He greatly disliked the lack of movement he had. “I hate this.” He huffed, arms dropping in defeat while Lance laughed._

“ _Come on, liven up Keith!” Keith made a face at him but arched an eyebrow as he saw Lance prop his feet on the wall before kicking, flying his way. His kick was strong enough that he bumped against Keith, pushing them both towards one of the other walls. Keith rested his back to the wall, shooting Lance a confused look as he smirked. “Tag, you're it.” He kicked off the wall they'd landed on towards another, eyes gleaming with mirth._

_Oh. It was unexpected, out of the blue, but it was just like Lance. His words were laced with a challenge, but it lacked the bite it used to. Keith smirked back. “You're on.”_

_It was the most ridiculous game of tag he had taken part in (and that was saying a lot because he had maybe once played tag in all his life); he'd pushed himself off the wall to catch Lance only for him to kick back and float away towards another wall. Their game of chase went on, Lance sticking out his tongue at him as he yet again evaded him and throwing taunts his way._

“ _What's wrong Keith? You're supposed to catch me you know!” He'd just pushed himself off another wall to evade him, but it'd been a weaker push, Keith noticed. As soon as his feet landed on the a wall he propelled himself back towards Lance, whose eyes widened. He was not close enough to anything to move away. Keith's lips twitched up._

_It then happened in quick succession; Keith grabbed Lance's arm just as the door opened and the shift in gravity made them fall. They both hit the floor with a pained groan._

“ _Ow, what the heck!” Lance lifted his head up off the floor, rubbing at the back of it with one hand._

“ _What are you guys doing?” Keith, rubbing at his forehead from where it'd collided against Lance's shoulder, turned and saw Shiro arching an eyebrow at them, but he was clearly amused if the way the corner of his mouth twitched was any hint. “You're soaked. Figured out how the pool works?”_

“ _Nope.” Lance sighed, propping himself up into a sitting position. “We were playing tag in zero-g.”_

_Keith lifted Lance's arm, still holding onto it., looking satisfied.“I caught you.”_

_Lance stuck out his tongue. “Only because Shiro came in and we fell!”_

“ _I caught you right before that!”_

“ _No you didn't!” Lance turned to Shiro at that. “Right?”_

_Shiro had sighed, shaking his head. “All I know is you two need to go dry off before you catch a cold. And then--” He pointed at the still soaked floor. “Clean this up.”_

“No more zero-g for me.” Lance replied. “Don't want Shiro to scold me again, and I have enough cleaning to do helping Coran.”

“I got scolded thanks to your stunt too.” Though to be fair Shiro looked more amused than stern in his scolding.

Lance shrugged, grinning. “Hey, you had fun thanks to my little stunt!” And Keith recalls Shiro's words. _'You looked like you two were having fun.'_

“...Maybe.” He half admited, looking away and hiding a smile behind the hand that's propping up his chin. When he looked back on that moment he could only think it'd been something childish to do, to play tag in a room with zero gravity, drenched and grinning like kids. Like they weren't also drifting in the middle of space, with war close in every corner. Like for a moment they could be silly.

When he was with Lance, Keith'd realized, he'd let himself have those moments. Even back when all Lance did was try to rile him up, presenting challenges and taunts, he managed to get a reaction out of him, and only later did Keith realize how caught up he got in it, how Lance could so easily pull him in. It became much more apparent as Lance's animosity towards him decreased, and he'd grin at him and pull him by the arm, making him sit with him and Hunk to chat, or call him over from across a room to come check something out with him and Pidge.

Lance had that ease to reach and pull him into his world, into the group, it was an ease with people Keith _envied._ So when he saw him so unsure, when Shiro'd come back, about his place in the team, he'd done his best to reassure him that things would sort themselves out.

Because if someone was part of Voltron, of that warmth, of that feeling of belonging, it was Lance.

In the end, things did sort themselves out.

And Keith was fine with the way it'd happened.

* * *

 

“Keith, my boy!” He hadn't expected Coran to be there too when he picked up Lance's call, earlier than usual, but his eyes softened immediately. “It's so good to be able to reach you.”

“Hey Coran. Sorry Kolivan hung up on you last time.”

“It's fine, it's fine! I understand where he was coming from. And he was still kind enough to let you know we called. Lance here was really worried about you!” Beside Coran, Lance spluttered, looking embarrassed.

“I wa—I wasn't---”

“So you didn't just miss me, huh?” Keith smiled slyly, shooting Lance a look.

“Shut it.” Lance averted his gaze, cheeks a little red. “'sides Coran wanted to hear from you too y'know.”

“That's right! How're things on your side? Have you been taking care?”

Keith told them much of what he'd already talked about with Lance. The older Altean's concern made him smile.

“How's the coalition going?” He asked, and Coran crossed his arms, looking a little dejected.

“It's going well but...the latest shows not so much. And they are key if we want to attract people to the coalition. But don't worry!” He looked bright again. “I will find a way to turn it around, just you wait ! And then maybe you'll get to see Voltron on a live transmission!”

Keith smiled. “I'll look forward to it.”

“You should see Allura playing as you.” Lance snickered. “She's got your grouchy face down, but she's missing your trademark pout.”

Unconsciously, Keith pouted just slightly. “I don't have a 'trademark' pout.”

“You're doing it right now!” Lance laughed, Coran easily joining in good naturedly.

“It is a shame you can't join us for these shows though, Keith.” Coran sighed. “I had all these incredible poses only you could pull off! Like this--” He demonstrated, Lance holding the communication device for him, as he showcased different action poses. “Or this!”

Lance barely stifled a laugh. “Nah, I think Keith'd look better like—“ He passed the device to Coran. “Holding his sword like so--” He held up his arm, shifting his legs and torso so it's facing sideways. “And looking at the crowd--” He was looking directly at the device's camera and Keith was startled by the intensity Lance was trying to pull off in his face. “You know, like, trying to look cool--” A smirk and Lance pretends to flip over hair over his shoulder. “Like that!

“No, no, it should be more like --” Coran gave back the device and pulled an exaggerated pose, one leg bent to the side while the other stretches a little further away, arm held up over his chest like he'd been holding a sword. His expression was ridiculously serious. “Like this, more dynamic!”

“Hmm, it's good, it's good, but what IF--”

Keith watched as the device kept switching hands and the two continued their debate, the poses only getting more and more silly. A small laugh had began to bubble up ever since it'd started and eventually he became unable to hold it in; laughter burst out free, Keith stifling it behind a hand. The sound seemed to have made the two men stop but when Keith looked up he saw them grin.

“Sorry—Sorry it's just--” Keith eyes creased with fondness. “You two are ridiculous.”

Lance placed a hand to his chest, feigning offense. “How dare you ! And here we are, thinking hard about what pose is best for you ! Fighting poses are important you know! They make you look cooler!”

“Exactly ! They add to your charm !” Coran nodded, waggling a finger in the air.

“Yeah, sure. Maybe I'll give one of those a try, sometime.” Keith let out puff of air, still amused. “But I think the poses suit you two much more.”

“I mean, you're not wrong.” Lance smirked, pushing back his hair. “I have my own repertoire ready for the shows!”

He was about to say something else when a notification made his device beep. It was surely to let him know he had to head out or there was going to be briefing; he didn't get any other's, aside from Lance's calls.

“I gotta go.” He said, smiling faintly at Coran. “It was good to talk to you, Coran. Hope the shows turn out okay.”

“I'll make sure of that !” Was the enthusiastic reply, with the ever familiar twist of his moustache. “ Hopefully we'll get to talk again soon. You take care, Keith !”

“Will do.” His eyes flickered back to Lance. “Catch you later, Lance.”

“Yeah!” He got a wave in reply and a lopsided grin. “See ya, Keith. Go kick butt.”

They hung up shortly after and Keith sighed, a little disappointed it'd been cut so short as he went to check the notification, but a small grin threatened to stick in place. He shook his head; this was no good. He had to steel himself, he had things to do.

Pocketing his device, he headed out.

* * *

 

He didn't get a chance to talk to Lance after that, but he was surprised when he found he'd left a voice message one night.

“Hey so, we are doing _great_ with these shows, Coran really pulled it off! Though he's been a little weird, maybe it's getting to him-- Anyways, they are going to be transmitting them live soooo—Y'know, if you get the chance, you should totally watch them. Last one's gonna be _huge_ so be on the lookout for it a—Hey! Hey!” For a moment Lance's voice sounded a little further away, but still clear. “Keith come say hi to Keith!” He could hear Lance's muffled laughter and steps getting closer.

“Keith?” Keith blinked as he heard Allura's voice come closer. “Oh, I--” Her tone sounded a little embarrassed. “Keith, I must apologize in advance. Coran made me play your part. I can only hope I did a good job at portraying you...Though he's implemented these roles for each of us which are pretty absurd--”

“She's supposed to be the Lone Wolf and howl for extra effect.” Lance was still snickering. “Hey, you should demonstrate—”

“I'm not doing that.” Allura interjected quickly. “Plus, all I do is scowl and look angry all the time! It's--” A pause. “I, uh, I'm sorry Keith I do not mean offense by that—Really, the roles don't fit any of us!”

“Except mine.” Keith could almost see him grinning and pushing his hair back. “I'm the Loverboy.” Keith snorted. “It's so true, I can't be mad.”

“I think you're the only one that is truly enjoying doing these shows.” Allura sighed. “Anyways--Keith, I hope you are doing well. ” There was a hint of something Keith couldn't quite place, if it was sadness or what, in her tone, but it was overpowered by the softness in her voice.

“I think everyone would be glad to talk to you, if Lance stops hogging you to himself.” He heard Lance splutter.

“I d—I'm not—I'm not hogging him!” He could almost see him flail his hands embarrassingly and he chuckled along with Allura's laugh through the device. “I--”

The message cut off there abruptly and Keith blinked at his device. They must've run out of record time.

He flopped down in his bed, settling his device beside him, mind swirling with what Lance and Allura had been saying.

_'The Lone Wolf_ '. Pidge had once called him the loner, too. Keith had come to associate himself with that, too, too used to being seen that way, too used to retracting himself from groups, to pulling away.

But was he a loner, if he'd enjoyed his times with the team, those silly little moments, fighting with goo, training, that makeshift snowball fight? Was he a loner, if a part of him longed for that connection, for that feeling of belonging? If even know, he wanted to reach for that warmth?

A loner would like to be alone. Keith didn't.

But clearly the team still saw him as such.

* * *

 

He was exhausted when he came back to his quarters that night, practically dragging himself through the door. His first thought was to drop down on his bed and pass out, but then his thoughts drifted to Lance. He wondered if he'd called earlier.

And then he remember his voice message. The shows...maybe he could find a recording of them in his device.

After some searching, sure enough he found a few. He tapped randomly on one and settled back to watch. Already halfway through it he could feel Pidge's irritation at the script. Even he could tell how made up it all was but her expressions made him grin. But he winced as he saw Hunk trip and fall flat on his face, comedic sound effect to accompany it. These shows weren't doing him justice and Keith honestly felt bad for him.

The next one made him choke up when Voltron appeared on stage and talked. They'd made it _talk_.

“Oh my god.”

He was momentarily taken aback when he saw the beast appear. That...wasn't special effects. And was that—He zoomed in as much as the video allowed him to check and saw a blur of orange and blue above the beast. Coran? Next moment he thought he saw him fly across the air— _was he okay?_

From the video's date, that was one of the newest one and by the scale of it, it might have been the last one, but there were a few others Keith had yet to see.

They'd done more shows than he'd thought and he found himself tapping on each video he found, finding his amusement growing. He felt sympathy for Shiro and Allura and how out of place both must've felt, given their faces in the oldest ones, but he snorted at some of the things they pulled. He was going to hold this over Shiro's head forever.

He had to bite his lip to muffle a loud laugh when he saw Lance descend gracefully from Red, looking right at home as he twirled and posed, holding onto the rope and smiling brightly for the camera. _And oh god they'd made Red talk too._

He wasn't really thinking when he opened the contact list and tapped Lance's to call him, feeling contained laughter bubble up inside him.

He was grinning when Lance picked up, who looked surprised.

“I saw you guys's shows.” Keith said instantly. Another huff of laughter escaped him and he couldn't go on because he was loosing it, laughing uncontrollably. He then became aware that there were other voices coming from the other side of the device.

“Woah, hey is that Keith?!” That was definitely Hunk and Keith lifted his head just in time to see his ever familiar grin, squishing himself next to Lance. “Hey, hey Keith ! You saw us?”

“Keith?” He saw arms clinging to Lance's neck and pull him down before Pidge came into view, her grin just as wide. “Keith! Oh man--” She snorted at his state.”You look like you're enjoying yourself.”

He had not expected to talk to them both as well but it didn't deter his laughter. “It's just—You made Voltron TALK—You made _Red_ talk--” He took a long breath but the grin stuck on his face, hand pushing his hair back. “Y—You guys were pretty amazing out there--” He chuckled as his eyes found Lance's, mirth written all over his face. “N-Nice job _Loverboy Lance_.” Another fit of light chuckles made him shake but he didn't miss the way Lance's face heated up and Hunk and Pidge started laughing.

“H-Hey don't make fun of me! You guys are just jealous 'cause I totally stole your spotlight.” Lance huffed and Keith shook his head, forcing his laughter to calm down.

“I'm not—making fun of you, sorry. You looked like you were enjoying yourself.” He then shifted his gaze between Hunk and Pidge. “Can't say the same for you two though.”

“I was annoyed at how stupid I sounded saying all those made up terms.” Pidge groaned but shrugged. “Just glad that's over.”

Hunk nodded. “Yeaah, putting aside the innumerable fart jokes, and all those times someone tripped me up-- it wasn't that bad. Just tiring, Coran's ideas got out of hand. But, but--” At this he perked up, speaking a little faster and hands gesturing in front of him. “That's only because he accepted a weird deal with an Unilu—remember those guys?-- that implanted a worm in his brain and made him go crazy with showbiz fever !”

“Is—Is Coran okay?” Keith asked, remembering seeing him for a moment on one of the transmissions.

“He's fine, don't worry. And besides!” Lance grinned. “Shows ended up being a success! Our coalition is getting bigger!”

“That's great to hear--”

“Keith, man, hey--” Hunk pushed a little against Lance, their face's almost mushed together. “How's the Blade of Marmora? You eating well? Do you want me to send you packed lunched? I've been experimenting a lot lately and I've made some great dishes—“ He made a face that reminded Keith of a small puppy. “It sucks that you aren't here to try them !”

A small ache hit Keith's chest at that, and he averted his gaze a little. “Sorry. You don't have to worry though, I'm eating. And If it counts, I miss your food Hunk.” _'And you.'_

A soft gasp made Keith look back up and Hunk was holding up his hands in loosely curled fists, eyes gleaming a little. “That's it, I AM packing you food anyways. Is there a way to get it to you? Like a space delivery system?”

“That's, uh--”

“What if we got Allura to make a tiny wormhole to transport it straight into the Marmora Base?” Lance proposed to which Pidge rolled her eyes.

“I doubt we could do that. But huh...” She fixed her glasses, looking thoughtful. “It sure would be handy if we had a way to transport something from here directly to you. Make it materialize right there...” She was murmuring to herself now.

“Don't be alarmed if you find something suddenly popped up in your room, Keith.” Hunk pointed a thumb at Pidge. “That means she figured out how. Oh, oh that reminds me--you should see the Galra Tracker now!” Hunk lifted up both hands excitedly. “It works better than ever!”

The mention of it seemed to make Pidge react again and she grinned smugly. “Yeah! Thanks to Matt's data, It can practically show Galra fleet movements _live!_ ”

“That's amazing.” Keith smiled. He could tell how proud she was of that. “You must be happy to have found Matt, Pidge.”

“Yeah.” Her expression softened, a glad and relieved smile on her face. “I really am.” Keith was too. She'd come all this way, just to find her brother, and she finally had. Keith admired that perseverance of hers.

“The nerd patrol just keeps growing.” Lance commented jokingly, getting a light jab in the ribs from Pidge.

They kept chatting like this for a little longer—And for that time Keith felt content, yet distant. They all seemed happy, and Keith was glad for it.

Yet a part of him wished he was there. He longed to be surrounded by that warmth, to sharing laughter and jokes and good news with his teammates beside them. The screen that separated them was a reminder of his decision, of putting distance, of doing what was right.

_Why was he doing this then?_

His eyes drifted to Lance, laughing about something Hunk had just said.

Lance.

Lance calling, reaching for him. Pulling him back in.

And even though Keith had tried, not to call, to at least keep that distance—He'd been unable to. _He'd reached back._

It was frightening, almost, how Lance could do that with imperceptible ease.

“Hey Keith, you listening?” Lance's voice startled him and he blinked.

“Oh, uh—Sorry.”He fiddled with his thumb and forefinger off screen. “I spaced out for a moment there...”

“You okay?” His brow was slightly creased, a sign of concern.

“Yeah. It's just been a long day.” He finally remembered his previous exhaustion, pushing down on him.

“You should get some rest man.” Hunk yawned at that moment, rubbing at his eyes. “I think I will too. It's late. ” He shot Keith a friendly smile, waving. “It was good to talk to you Keith! Call more often!”

“I'll try.” He half smiled, watching Hunk take a step back.

“Pidge, you coming?”

She hummed. “I'm gonna go work on something before bed. But I'll leave you and Lance alone now.” He was sure he saw her glasses glint in the light as she smiled at him, almost knowingly. She stepped back too and waved. “Night Keith!”

He waved back at her and Hunk as they went off screen before turning to Lance. He seemed a little fidgety.

“Hey, uh, are you sure you're okay?” Lance asked, his brow still creased.

“I told you, it was a long day. I'm just tired.” He fought back a yawn. “Shouldn't you head to bed too?”

“Yeah...” He rubbed his nose, looking sheepish. “You know I...” A pause. “I...was happy when you called.”

Oh. “Oh.”

“Y'know since I'm the one always calling I thought I was bothering you.” His cheeks were a little red. “So, uh, yeah. It made me happy okay?”

The sincerity had Keith fighting back a blush of his own, but he couldn't hold back a smile. “It doesn't bother me, when you call.” _'It makes me happy. More than I can tell you.'_ “It's fine, Lance.”

“Y-Yeah, yeah it's just...” Lance rubbed the back of his head, clearly looking like there was more he wanted to say but held back. “It's nothing. You should get some sleep.”

He wanted to know what Lance was holding back but he was exhausted. And for now, maybe it was best not to push. “You too.”

He got a small smile in return and a two finger salute. “Night Keith. Catch you later.”

“Yeah.” He found himself mirroring the gesture. “Night Lance.”

The call ended and Keith sighed, flopping back down against his pillow. He stared at the darkened screen of his device for a moment, holding it loosely in his hand before putting it under his pillow and closing his eyes.

He'd surprised even himself, when he'd so easily tapped Lance's contact, how natural it felt, to talk to him and Hunk and Pidge, like he'd never left the team, like he hadn't put a barrier between himself and them.

But the barrier had cracks, and he couldn't tell himself he wasn't happy, getting to talk to them, he couldn't say he didn't miss them, he could pretend he didn't wish he belonged there.

Sleep claimed him quickly, that night, even as his thoughts and his emotions swirled, in a constant pull and push, in a constant battle, between Lance's words “ _You're a still a part of Voltron”_ and his own thoughts “ _I am not meant to be anymore.”._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: Says this chapter is going to be shorter  
> Chapter: ends up being 4900+ words  
> I GOT REALLY CARRIED AWAY and I am honestly surprised with myself at how quickly I got it done. I'm leaving for two weeks starting tomorrow but I already have some ideas for later chapters.
> 
> I'm not jumping to S4 Ep5/6 events next chapter btw ! There's still stuff i want to sneak in since the season was so short :')  
> Anyways! Writing Keith is not my forte but I hope you all enjoy <3


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